By Alex Perdikis

You already know the advantages of youth sports. Physical activity and health, leadership skills, and bouncing back after a loss are just a few of the lessons children learn playing sports that serve them well into adulthood.

Becoming a great teammate is one of the most important lessons children learn. Helping others who may not have their advantages, lifting teammates up when they need it and supporting the efforts of others in some capacity turn athletes into people who care about the world around them.

Children are born self-centered. It’s a survival mechanism. To become a productive adult, however, children have to learn empathy. Team sports is the perfect place to learn about helping others.

How can you encourage your child to become a great teammate? Follow these three tips.

From the Bench or on the Field: Everyone Contributes

Perhaps your child is one of those less-skilled players who sit out a lot. It’s important for your child to realize that everyone contributes to the team whether they play or not.

“Playing hard during practice not only gives nonstarters a chance to better their own skills, but it helps starters become better players as well. Practice is where skills improve and grow.” — Alex Perdikis

Cheerleading from the sidelines and positive shouts of encouragement to those on the field builds a sense of family.   

Is your child a starter or a player who gets a lot of playing time? Discuss with your child the importance of including nonstarters in team activities. Talk about ways nonstarters contribute to the team as a whole. Encourage your child to support those team members when they do play and during practice.

Point out that gratitude toward every other team member, whether they play a lot or a little, is what turns a good team into a great one.

It’s More Than Winning

Great teams aren’t necessarily winning teams. Of course, every team member, coach and parent loves to win. But, youth sports speaks to a higher purpose where winning is more about winning at life than winning a game.

Create an atmosphere for your child where looking out for others, helping each other be the best they can be, and fulfilling their own potential is the goal — not a winning score at the end of a game.

Encourage your child to be a gracious loser and to congratulate members of the other team after a loss. Discourage the blame game both in your child’s speech and your own.

Choose the Right Program

Nothing you do at home will have an impact if your child is in a program that goes against your ideals. Find a youth sports program that not only fits your child’s capabilities and interests but also shares your philosophy.

Choose a coach who interacts positively, encourages teamwork, values each team member, and doesn’t punish players for mistakes. Observe how the coach and staff interact with players. Watch the spoken and unspoken messages they send to young athletes.

Youth sports can be both fun and a powerful life skills teacher when parents and coaches work together.

Alex Perdikis, Koons of Silver Spring general manager and owner, lives in Chevy Chase with his wife and daughters.

By Alex Perdikis

Has youth sports lost its fun factor only to give way to a highly competitive and angry experience for young athletes? It’s a hot debate. If you’re a parent, you  probably worry about the state of sports for children these days. And, rightly so.

Is there anything you can do to give your child the joyful experience of playing youth sports without all the anger and overly competitive atmosphere? The answer is yes.

Why Youth Sports?

Youth sports gives your child an unequaled opportunity to learn about life. Playing on a team teaches children how to work together for a common goal, how to get along with people of various backgrounds and cultures, how to become leaders and builds self-confidence.

Children learn resilience and build problem-solving skills.

“A positive experience with youth sports prepares your child for life as an adult. Research studies indicate that children who play sports get better grades, learn teamwork and are more physically fit.” — Alex Perdikis

Clearly, youth sports benefits both mind and body.

Your Idea of Fun Is Not Necessarily Your Child’s

When you think of your child’s sports team, you might picture tournament wins and a shelf at home with a lot of trophies. Your child probably has a different idea about fun.

A George Washington University researcher asked student athletes why they played. Nearly every child said they played because it was fun. The researcher then asked each player what was fun about the sport they played.

Here are their top answers:

• Being active
• Getting playing time
• Working as a team
• Trying their best
• Respectful treatment from coaches and parents

Winning was on the list, but it was No. 48 out of 81. The young athletes found the greatest joy by playing hard alongside teammates with supportive interactions from coaches and parents.

Where It Goes Wrong

What takes the fun out of youth sports? A McCarthy and Jones research study found that younger children and older children experience loss of joy for different reasons.

Younger children said that coaches were the problem. Not offering positive reinforcement and punishment for perceived mistakes took the fun right out of the game for them.

Older athletes, those from middle school and up, said the excessive training and an emphasis on winning turned sports into drudgery.

Poor coaching is one of the main causes of lack of enjoyment and dropping out. But, in a large number of cases, parents share the blame.

One research study confirmed that the worst part about losing a game for many young athletes was the drive home with their parents.

What Can You Do?

If you want your child to experience the joy of youth sports without the extremism, the ball is in your court. Work with your child to create an atmosphere of positive reinforcement. Evaluate your child’s abilities. Don’t expect performance beyond their capabilities.

Thoroughly examine any sports program you consider. Make sure you and the coaching staff are on the same page as far as goals and coaching techniques. Be proactive as a supportive parent and cheerleader. Youth sports are supposed to spark joy after all.

Alex Perdikis, Koons of Silver Spring general manager and owner, lives in Chevy Chase with his wife and daughters.